An excerpt taken from Elder Maxwell's talk: "Enduring Well."
Anne Morrow Lindbergh wisely cautioned: “I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable” (quoted in “Lindbergh Nightmare,” Time, 5 February 1973, 35).
Certain forms of suffering, endured well, can actually be ennobling. Annie Swetchine said, “Those who have suffered much are like those who know many languages; they have learned to understand and be understood by all” (quoted in Neal A. Maxwell, We Will Prove Them Herewith [1982], 123).
The Apostle Paul spoke from considerable personal experience when observing that “no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous” (Heb. 12:11). You and I are not expected to pretend chastening is pleasant, but we are expected to “endure it well” (D&C 121:8). Only afterward is “the peaceable fruit of righteousness” enjoyed by those who “are exercised thereby” (Heb. 12:11). But what demanding calisthenics!
Yes, demanding in deed, and there are days when I feel like I have a big hole in my heart and I'm just living, breathing, and missing out on what my life is really meant to be.
If you look up "Adversity" on LDS.org, you'll find:
When some people face adversity, they complain and become bitter. They ask questions like “Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this now? What have I done to deserve this?” But these questions have the power to dominate their thoughts. Such questions can overtake their vision, absorb their energy, and deprive them of the experiences the Lord wants them to receive. Rather than responding in this way, people should consider asking questions such as, “What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial?”
I am guilty of the former types of questions, but also I strive to seek the answers to the second types of questions. As Elder Holland said, "The past is to be learned from and not lived in." Just as Anne Morrow, said, suffering alone doesn't ennoble people, it is how one responds and endures suffering that ennobles. Moving on from the first types of questions and asking the second types is ennobling. I have found myself desiring to become a better person by strengthening the weaknesses in my character, by being a better listener, and striving to come outside of myself to serve others, or to maybe be a support to someone else.
I have to confess that there are moments when I have felt so vulnerable to temptation and to poor decisions like I never have before. I have questioned my faith, but then regained it. I have felt like Peter falling into the water after walking on it for a few steps because of doubts though, I feel like I just keep falling and getting up over and over. Thankfully, I have a foundation of spiritual experience to hold onto and build from, and I am determined to never forsake my faith and strive to come out of this divorce closer to my Savior, more compassionate, less judgmental, less selfish, more charitable, and more the woman I want to become: serene and dignified. Come what may, whether I marry again or not, or have a family of my own or not, I believe that through obedience, service to others, and faith in my Savior, I can find happiness and purpose in my life.
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